Now that the title of this blog post has caught your attention, I’ll give you some context behind what actually happened last night.
It was a Monday and so it was a work night, but I went out into the city after work to meet my cousin, visiting from Darwin, for dinner and some drinks.
After catching up on family, work, stories of travel, and discussing his life in the north part of Australia complete with dangerous animals such as salt water crocodiles , we headed onto a few other places, including a pool table bar, and an old Brisbane favourite, a pub that’s been around since the 80s and earlier.
The night was ripe with excitement, yes even for a Monday, as my cousin was only in town for another few days and I wanted to show him around before he left. And second reason being that the U. S Navy was in my city.
Their jet-carrier USS Ronald Reagan docked on Friday morning and 4,500 US soldiers have flooded us for the last few days, before they go on to train for the Talisman Sabre exercises alongside our defence.
Got to say I wasn’t expecting this surprise. My usual hangouts were now inundated with Americans that looked like NBA players and US defence patritosm you only see in movies.
What I thought would be a casual work night turned out to be a whirlwind of pubs crowded with a mixture of Australian slang and American accents from all over the country.
I met a few interesting people from all over, Oregon, Alabama, Washington, Texas. It was crazy the cultural differences this nation has from ours. Guys with thick south accents, passionately debating the love of summer BBQ ribs and clam chowder, while I couldn’t help but jump back between staring at the face of some attractive flanno-clad all American guy called Cole with an ‘E’ and listening to his sweet south caroline-forrest gump’esque drawl. Very hard to multitask between both.
Their enthusiasm is something I am definitely not used to, and us Australians are enthusiastic about a lot, especially Bunnings sausages and State of Origin. It goes to another level of passionate enthusiasm and patriotism. The same ‘Forrest Gump-southern hospitality’ type guy launched into a 20 minute motivational speech about going after your dreams, not letting anything hold you back in life, and ‘how great is American sports’ and it was quite refreshing.
Something I wish Australian men could take note of maybe, having the confidence to succeed and to be passionate about causes.
Anyway, moving onto the next part of my story. It was 10 o’clock at this time, I knew I was going to be very tired for work in the morning, but what did that matter when you were wandering the streets of Brisbane, befriending two soldiers in the Australian Army, a 19 year old girl, and an officer in his late 20s, both extremely drunk and the classic larrikin types.
We had left the last pub we were at, and wandering past shops, the other two wandered off, old mate officer guy piggybacking the young tomboy explosives engineer, but my cousin and I marched on, determined to meet more people. When all of a sudden something caught my eye, a man addressing a scantily clad woman outside a strip club.
He was addressing her in a way that I considered not reciprocated maybe, or wanted. He didn’t have his hands on her but he was pointing to different parts of her body in public.
I just felt uneasy. I am not familiar with these places at all, I don’t know the women who work in these places and what the rules are, but I know as a woman myself, I would feel uneasy if I was in her position. Having my body scrutinised in public.
I had a few beverages by then and a strong urge to protect this woman, whoever she may be. I walked over to the semi-circle of males standing around her, she was smiling, but it looked put on.
I caught just enough of the conversation to interject. “Does she enjoy what your doing here? ” He looked at me, startled, and adjusted the glasses on the bridge of his nose. ” I am pointing out that there are different pressure points on the body”, he said in an unmistakably American accent. “I can show you, if you don’t mind”.
“I do mind, because I am not a stripper, so you will not be pointing at any part of my body. ” I snapped back sharply, crossing my arms defensively across my chest. At this remark, he looked shaken, and aghast. But said ‘Okay, so it is obvious you are judging me, and we are standing outside a strip club, so I can gather what kind of person you think I am.’
‘I’m not judging you, I don’t know you, as a by stander though I noticed this situation looked questionable. ‘ Everyone, including the girl looked at me stumped. ‘I want to hear what you have to say. I’m intrigued now. I want to hear what an Australian girl has to say.’ And before I could object, he asked if he could buy me a drink and we could have a discussion.
My cousin was off busy, checking out the displays in the window nearby, and he seemed pre-occupied with doing his own thing tonight. So I agreed to this stranger, now introduced as Jeremy, and we all walked into a nearby bar.
“So tell me what your thoughts are, how did you perceive me?” he asked, as we found a seat in the corner.
I take a sip of my drink as I sit, collecting my answer before looking back at him. “I am a Christian, and a woman, and I believe women are to be respected, whether they work in a place like that or not. I saw you, and the situation and I had to say something. It didn’t feel right. Would you like to be put in the same position as that woman? ”
“I have the utmost respect for that actually and above all else I do respect women, while I dont have any particular religious beliefs either, I do believe in morality, respect and an afterlife. And you know what? I actually applaud your courage to come over to me outside a strip club and actually confront me and I can understand how you must feel and what judgements you make on me. I am a flawed man. I know I should look at all women as beautiful and not objectify them. I actually have two daughters, 5 and 8 back home. Those girls are my world and it breaks me. ”
“You mean for them to grow up in this world of objectification?”
“Exactly, the last thing I would ever want is for my girls to be on a pole, or for them to think less of me for actions that look dishonourable to a woman.”
“So I guess we are on the same page then? ” I laugh.
“Absolutely, I forget myself sometimes, but I would never intentionally harm a woman or disrespect her. I value intellect actually, and your a very smart woman with strong beliefs. I can respect that. And even though I am not a religious guy I can believe you can be a good person and do right by others. ”
He then proceeded to show me a tattoo on his back of two sides, one being heaven and the other hell, and in the middle a cross with a full moon in the middle and a staircase leading up inside it.
“This represents my journey and my belief system. Not choosing either heaven nor hell ideologies, but doing my best on earth as represented below the cross and after my life on earth, being lifted to a higher place whether that be, reincarnation etc represented by the spread wings. ”
I appraised it and nodded my head.” I respect that you believe there is something after and we are not all just together here on earth by random serving no purpose. ”
“Oh definitely, I believe my mission is working in the US navy, protecting people whether they be American, Australian, British, and children and women in the Middle East. I would rather a guy come at me with a knife than bomb a building with thousands inside. ”
As our discussion continued and became more in depth, I had gone from feeling disgust, to a sense of respect and understanding. The candor in our conversation was refreshing and I liked that he approached this conversation with curiosity about what I believed and the motivation behind why I was direct.
I had promptings in my spirit to ask him about his relationships, and he told me the relationship with the mother of his children ended badly and he was greatly depressed about it in the past. I asked about his relationship with his father and he told me the story of alcohol abuse brought on by the death of his step mother and how it came to a point he had to protect his family from his fathers visitations.
I asked him these questions because I had a feeling past experiences may have led him to feel he could not relate to a faith as he was used to not feeling close to a male figure in his life. More times than none, a grudge or a disbelief in a God can stem from a bad relationship with a parent, as God is described as a fatherly figure.
My own conflicting relationship with my father in the past years contributed to my inability to connect and trust fully, God and men. And while my own relationship with my father is mending, the scars of broken trust are harder to heal, always faintly visible.
Apart from the deep intense topics of conversation though, there was light hearted talk of our respective countries, our customs, lifestyles and work. He told me about his work in submarines and I shared that my Dad worked in the Australian Navy in the 80s as well and showed him photos.
“I’m glad we had this chat, ” I say, as I leave the bar.
“I am too, even though you scared me, and I felt very intimidated as a man, especially one who is also in the US defence.”
I laughed and apologised. “Two days in Australia and your already getting confronted outside a strip club at 10pm on a Monday. ”
“No don’t apologise I really enjoy being challenged. You confronted me, and I was glad for that. You cornered me and I was like, what, okay yep, she has a point. Damn. *hits head against wall* I don’t like people that go along with everything I do, and say “Your such a nice guy” I want the cold, hard truth. I want someone to point out what I do wrong. ”
To wrap up, we shook hands and parted ways at 2am. But I’ll never forget that conversation with Jeremy from Oregon. It surprised me of the level of courage, or some would call audacity depending on how you see it, to ask a stranger ‘Hang on is this right? ‘ And then to actually have a civilised conversation exchanging view points and ending the night having felt I made at least a new friend rather than an enemy was a blessing.
One day I hope to visit their great nation, and to celebrate alongside them the events that spark passion and allegiance to their country. I don’t think I can get on board with Dr. Pepper though or Peanut Butter Jelly sandwich’s, but I guess that’s a difference in opinion we can agree to disagree on.
the anomaly daughter 